When I just want to SCREAM AND CRY
SHOUT INTO THE SKY
WHY
WHY
WHY
I DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN HANDLE. THIS IS A LOST BATTLE.
I AM LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEA, DROWNING IN THE STORM OF MY MIND AND NO ONE CAN SEE
But
When my head phones go in;
When my music begins to flow through me and warm the 17 winters that have settled in my bones: the storm calms and the waves of my music push me to shore.
A Reason Why I Listen To Music.
&
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE IM NEVER GOING TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. YOU TOOK MY FUCKING HEART AND STEPPED ON IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YOU KICKED IT TO THE SIDE. YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO IT. PICKING IT, BRUSHING IT OFF, PUTTING SOME OF THE PEICES BACK TOGETHER. BUT EVERY TIME YOU LEAVE IT, YOU LEAVE MY HEART IN WORSE CONDITIONS. SO PLEASE. STOP COMING BACK. STOP.
It just hurts so much. My screams are famine.
All I can fucking write about is how sad I am. And I don't know what to do anymore because I wake up every single fucking morning wishing I hadn't. I go to classes and don't do anything because what's the point? University? College? I won't make it that far. All I want to do it rip my skin open and bleed. Bleed and bleed and bleed until maybe just maybe I'll take that......final breath.
Who is there to talk to? No one. No fucking one understands. And those who did, left.
It wasn't always like this. I can remember waking up happy, but for a very long time now I've been waking up to stale skies.
So I'll just cry and maybe try this time, only
What is real and what isn't?
Pain is real. Or is it?
Am I real? What is real?
But does it matter what's real and what's not?
All I know is that:
I.
Am.
In.
Pain. Real or not. It fucking hurts.
I.
Want.
To.
Die. Death? Life? Living? Thinking? I want none of it.
When I just want to SCREAM AND CRY
SHOUT INTO THE SKY
WHY
WHY
WHY
I DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN HANDLE. THIS IS A LOST BATTLE.
I AM LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEA, DROWNING IN THE STORM OF MY MIND AND NO ONE CAN SEE
But
When my head phones go in;
When my music begins to flow through me and warm the 17 winters that have settled in my bones: the storm calms and the waves of my music push me to shore.
A Reason Why I Listen To Music.
&
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE IM NEVER GOING TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. YOU TOOK MY FUCKING HEART AND STEPPED ON IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YOU KICKED IT TO THE SIDE. YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO IT. PICKING IT, BRUSHING IT OFF, PUTTING SOME OF THE PEICES BACK TOGETHER. BUT EVERY TIME YOU LEAVE IT, YOU LEAVE MY HEART IN WORSE CONDITIONS. SO PLEASE. STOP COMING BACK. STOP.
It just hurts so much. My screams are famine.
All I can fucking write about is how sad I am. And I don't know what to do anymore because I wake up every single fucking morning wishing I hadn't. I go to classes and don't do anything because what's the point? University? College? I won't make it that far. All I want to do it rip my skin open and bleed. Bleed and bleed and bleed until maybe just maybe I'll take that......final breath.
Who is there to talk to? No one. No fucking one understands. And those who did, left.
It wasn't always like this. I can remember waking up happy, but for a very long time now I've been waking up to stale skies.
So I'll just cry and maybe try this time, only
What is real and what isn't?
Pain is real. Or is it?
Am I real? What is real?
But does it matter what's real and what's not?
All I know is that:
I.
Am.
In.
Pain. Real or not. It fucking hurts.
I.
Want.
To.
Die. Death? Life? Living? Thinking? I want none of it.
Tossing and turning
Twisted up in sheets of cloth
As the sweat soaks through
Listen to the night birds sing
Beneath a watery moon
Summer nights swelter
When summer rains never fall
From a groaning sky
Crying out for wet release
And thrashing desperately
I dance and cry for rain.
No Disguise For Madness by Glasses-And-Blades, literature
Literature
No Disguise For Madness
Lilac flowers
sweetly resting
on broken bones
Pure white roses
tainted crimson
by my very own blood
Sunshine yellow dandelions
gently laid
over my tired eyes
(Try as you might
but you can't disguise madness)
A face in the mirror
Reflecting back the light
Time carves these lines
I try to believe you
While inside I die
I’m fading, dissolving again
The light in me is ending
Burns through my head
I’m fading, dissolving again
The light in me is ending, it’s over
We’ll wake up in the morning
Reaching out to the sky
Waking up, the sun is mine
Wake up in the morning
Today I can’t fall
As I set new fires alight
It’s in the mirror
I’ll hide my light
And drown my name
I try to believe you
While inside I die
I’m fading, dissolving again
The light in me is ending
Burns through my head
I’m fading,
January 29th 2016 (I Am the Blade) by ShihSnTz, literature
Literature
January 29th 2016 (I Am the Blade)
I am the blade, honed a razor edge
Forged and shaped by these hellfires I’ve made
Quenched in the waters of a single pledge
I am the blade
Every time I wish, every time I've prayed
Every long night on that damn ragged edge
Face to face with all the pain I have made
Led me here to this final dropping ledge
Time to pay for how far I’ve gone astray
And all countless little evils I’ve fledged
I am the blade
I never had a chance. Who was I kidding. Not a chance with you, school, myself, life. I'm just sooooo fucked that I laugh. hahahaha oh man, I'm really gonna hate life even more soon. Ahahahaha, god I'm so fucked. I think I just rather not do this.
THE SUN FUCKING HURTS. GET IT OUT OF MY FACE. I DON'T CARE FOR YOUR PETTY TRIES AT GETTING ME TO SMILE. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. THAT IS A FUCKING LIE. I DO CARE. THATS THE ONLY REASON IM STILL HERE. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. LET THIS GO. LET ME GO. I HACK AWAY AT WEEDS ONLY FOR YOU TO TELL ME THEY'RE PLANTS. THEY ARE NOT BLOODY PLANTS. THEY ARE A CURSE. THE CURSE OF EXISTENCE. PLEASE SOMEONE LIFT IT.
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO SEE HOW MUCH YOU BROKE ME. STOP CALLING ME PLEASE. I DON'T HAVE THE SELF RESTRAINT TO NOT PICK UP, SO PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. STOP CALLING ME. STOP HURTING ME. I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TALK TO ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW YOU WERE JUST A BOY, BUT GOD YOU WERE THE BOY.